-Dear Riverton Cop,
You are a Douche. Just a quick rule of thumb, if you ask someone a question you should let them answer you. And why do you think you are so cool? Telling me you could cite me for this infraction and that infraction is super hard core. And by that I mean isn't at all hard core. And then you just let me off without even a warning? I don't get you.
-Where the F does "rule of thumb" come from? Someone Cha Cha it.
-I still freaking love John Mayer. He is my eternal Man-Crush. (If any of you start using "Bro-Mance" I will track you down and punch you square in the face)
-Dear Ex-Facebook Friend,
I know you are upset I deleted you as a friend, but do you blame me? Every time I signed on you attacked me via Facebook Chat. Just because I accepted your friend request a year ago on Facebook doesn't mean we are real life friends. We don't kick it on the weekends. We don't go grab lunch to catch up. I didn't just break up with you, I deleted you because I you make me want to stick rusty nails through my eye lids.
-I want to run my Neon off a cliff.
-I do not pride myself as much of a video game player, but I super rock at all three Super Mario Brothers on the original Nintendo. And I am embarrassingly good at Guitar Hero. I'm no John Nielson. But I am better than I should be.
-There was this one time that I was really surprised when a girl I was on a date with didn't want to cuddle with me. Man, I am a douche. Me and that cop should go kick it.
-I now play bass in an 80's band called 88MPH. Anyone who can guess where that name comes from is crazycool (one word). Come see us play sometime... And by sometime I mean when we have a gig. And by that I mean if you want to book a rockin' 80's band for something let me know.
-I think I have the smallest bladder ever.
-Dear Cleaning Girl at Bryan's House
Don't ask my opinion on college football if you are a dumb ass. If you want to have a real discussion about it, I'm game. But don't ask for my opinion then respond with "blah, blah, Utes, blah, blah, number 1, blah, blah." (I use quotes cause that's exactly what my ears heard). At least have an educated argument. You lost your right to speak. Now, go finish cleaning Bryan's bathroom.
Grammar Portion Returns:
To? Too? Two?
If you use "too" correctly, the other ones should fall into place.
Too is used when meaning "excessively" or "also."
I ate too much. I want to go to the store too!
I sometimes suck at this, but it's really not all that hard. If you don't know how to use the number two correctly you need to go back to resource.
5 comments:
random that my sister asked the same question the other day about Rule of Thumb... measure with your thumb or you could beat your wife with a stick as long as it was no bigger than your thumb. I don't know if you really wanted to know but there you go anyway.
http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/rule-of-thumb.html
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=rule+of+thumb
I need you to know something...
This was very entertaining for me, even though I don't know anything about most of the things in this post. So... thank you for entertaining me. You're the wonderfulest one. :)
"When this baby hits 88 miles per hour, you're gonna see some serious shit."
I LOVE Back to the Future
Okay, you're really funny. And you write really good songs. Dating really does suck. I hope you find a really awesome girl that makes you really happy and treats you well. I wish that being married didn't automatically annex my guy friends, 'cause I miss hanging out with you sometimes. Hope things are well and congrats on the Hale job! Will you be there every day? Comment on my blog and let me know k? westgatefam.blogspot.com
p.s. I know everyone is probably saying this to you, but I saw you on American Idol last night! :)
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