Chillin out, Maxin, Relaxin All Cool

With the new job I will be traveling a lot. Ok, that's basically all I do is travel. I will probably be in 3 or 4 different states every week. That is neat. Looks like I better get used to flying.

This week it's Philidelphia. I am only doing one day for the first couple weeks. I would ask if there is anything cool to see in Philly, but I really wont have much time to do anything on this trip. I fly across the country and have to head straight to the hotel. And fly back early Friday morning. Maybe I can at least grab a philly sandwhich sometime along the way...

Maybe I'll get some pictures... maybe not. We'll see.

Waiting For Wednesday

(Originally posted on January 31, 2007)




First of all.. Did you know there is a band and a song by Lisa Loeb called Waiting For Wednesday? I didn't either til yesterday. That kinda bugs, I really thought I was completely original with that one.

Well after posting such a happy song last time, I'll post a break-up song this time. It fits well for my life for multiple reasons at this time actually.


Five Months of pain with occasional bliss
left me abused and alone.
I don't know where I signed up for this
but I'm packing up to go home.

Waiting
Waiting
Waiting for Wednesday

Seeing her smile and seeing her laugh
tears me apart every day.
Convincing my heart what I know in my mind
to heal that's the only way

Waiting
Waiting
Waiting for Wednesday

When Wednesday comes I pray to the Lord,
it brings to me peace of mind
When Wednesday goes still praying my Lord
You'll take this thorn from my side

Waiting
Waiting
Waiting for Wednesday

Now I am waiting for you
I'm still waiting for you
Just waiting for Wednesday

Inspiration for the Underachieving

Who needs some motivation? I was just watching Coach Carter and was reminded of this great quote. I'll also put another one of my favorites under it.

Our Deepest Fear

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?
Actually who are we not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

- Marianne Williamson


This one is on the Air Jordan shoe commercial. But I love it

It's not about the shoes.
It's about knowing where you're going,
Not forgetting where you started.
It's about having the courage to fail,
Not breaking when you are broken.
Taking everything you've been given and making something better.
It's about work before glory.
And what's inside of you.
It's doing what they say you can't.
It's not about the shoes, It's what you do in them.
It's about being who you were born to be.
Become Legendary.

There you go. There is your pick me up for the day

Thanks Hay. Now I feel obligated.

A. The rules are posted at the beginning.
B. Each person answers the questions about themselves
C. At the end of the post, the person then tags people and posts their names; then goes to there blog and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged.

10 years ago:
In February of 1998 I was in the 9th grade at Riverview Junior High School. I was probably 5'9" or 5'10" and had size 14 feet and large ears. I was hanging out with Scott Davis and Nicole Burnett, and probably was just about to become friends with Matt Sundquist. I was a good kid and I think I still loved Angie Campasano. I loved her for 2 years. I think I was still in the really loud stage of my life but was just about to realize people didn't like really loud annoying people.

5 Things on my to do list:
(1) Get a job. I should hear back from Auction Teacher by Friday or Tuesday
(2) Fix my Neon. Stupid car hasn't even ran half the time I've had it
(3) Donate my Galant to Cars for Kidneys
(4) Get into the studio and record an album
(5) Get back up to Logan for a couple days

Things I would do if I were suddenly made a billionaire:
Invest a lot of the money. I want to make sure I'll have money for my future. Buy a nice house for myself. I am going to customize it so I have my music room in the basement and I'd fill the music room with new Guitars, a nice keyboard, a drum set and sound equipment. Buy a few new cars. And I'd buy everyone in my immediate family a house as well. Oh yeah, and I would travel for a while.

Jobs I have had:
It started out at Papa Murphey's, then A&W and Subway, a couple construction jobs, Tony Roma's, Convergy's (worst place ever), Little Professor Book Store, a camp for troubled teens, Dixie State College of Utah Recruiter, Best Buy, Lagoon and a TA for Public Speaking at USU.


3 of my bad habits:

1) When I perform my eyebrows go crazy. I don't know why, but I just can't control them

2) I check cougarboard, facebook and now my blog multiple times a day

3) If my mustache is getting long I constantly play with it with my tongue and dry out my lips

Things people don't know about me:

-I used to cry a lot when I was little. I got made fun of so much that I put a block on that emotion. I very rarely cry anymore.
-I've never really tried to master any specific skill. I feel like I can do a lot of things well, but nothing great.
-I have never been in a fight in my life
-Up until a couple years ago I wanted to be a professional athlete over a musician/singer
-I'm not as confident as I appear.

I'll tag RJ. You're it.

Don't it always seem to go that you don't what you've got till it's gone?

For months I sat at school just waiting for my new life to start. Waiting to graduate school and move home. I was done and ready for a change.

Change is overrated.

I miss my old life. I don't necessarily miss having to go to classes and pretending to study. But I do miss a lot of simple things that I had no idea I would. Here is a list of things from Logan that I miss.

-Everyone sitting downstairs on our laptops "watching" TV
-Throwing the Football and discussing everything sporty with Kenny
-Justin always having some sort advice for any situation and him always taking your side no matter what
-Marty being awkward. He always has some sort of random saying or gesture he's trying remember to incorporate in his everyday life.
-Matt's constant girl issues. Because he always had issues, we could always understand each other.
-RJ's always got your back. That's just how it is.
-10 o'clock's the new 12 o'clock
-Sitting in the Ambassador room
-Po-Bev.
-Silent Elevator Rides
-"tag me"

Ok that's enough sentimental crap. The whole point of this post goes back to Joni Mitchell's wise lyric. "Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you got till it's gone?"

I guess not Joni. I guess not.

Even Skinny Kids Get Fat

I have been living at home with the parentals for the last 2 months. It's not a bad hookup. I basically have my own apartment in the basement plus a 67 inch DLP HD TV. (Side note: Have any of you ever watched Discovery Channel in HD? I never knew I liked the Discovery Channel till I saw it in HD. Awesome)

Ok, I promise there is a point to all of that. Because I have been a bum the last two months and I don't yet have a job, I have a limited supply of money. Because I have a limited amount of money I can't go eat out for every meal. Seriously people, ask my roommates at school. I ate out 75% plus of the time. I was pretty lucky financially at school with scholarships and grants, so I wasted all my money on food.

Now I eat whatever is in the fridge. Luckily, my wonderful mother bought me a bountiful supply of hot pockets, corn dogs and burritos. I grew up on frozen food. That's really all I know.

Back to the point. The last time I weighed myself at USU on Justin's scale (or Matt's?) I weighed 208 lbs. Not too bad considering I am pretty freaking tall. But this morning the scale informed me that I am down to 197 lbs. I know weight fluctuates, but it's been between 205 and 210 the last couple years. I have lost over 10 lbs by just eating... a little (and I mean little) healthier.

I kept telling Hayley I was fat. She never agreed. Now I have proof

Summer Fun....and Beyond?

Lagoon needed an answer. Tuacahn said "there's a chance you could get called," but told me to take the sure shot. So I did. And now once again for 6 nights a week from the end of May til mid September, I will be having the glorious opportunity of experiencing "what fun is." And you all have to come experience it with me.

I went to auditions for Holland-America Cruise Lines on Friday. It went really, really well. I will find out here in a couple weeks if I am on their hiring list, but the director was amazingly complimentary of me and I am optimistic about it. If anything happens, it wont be till, at the earliest, September (after Lagoon). I really can't imagine anything better than getting paid really well to perform about 3 nights a week (max), not pay for any food (I spend so much money on food), or housing and.. oh yeah... being out in the Caribbean, basking in the sun. So, lets just hope I get an offer.

A quick shout out to Dan Ransom

My header picture is from a guy named Dan Ransom. He is a local photographer and he is ridiculously good. Check out his website www.danransom.com . His photoblog is off the heezy- for sheezy.


Especially if you love BYU football as much as I do.





Man he's good

Decisions, Decisions

I promised myself I was going to retire from performing at Lagoon. I had no desire to audition. I was just going to work this summer and actually make some money. Just live the normal non-performing life. You know, the one that actually makes money..

But then my sister, Mandy, had to go and tell me she wanted to audition. I decided that I would love to do a show with her so I told her if she auditioned I would as well. I still wasn't convinced that's what I wanted to do. Then Lexi had to call me and convince me that it is what I wanted to do.

So I auditioned. There was actually quite a lot of talent there. My sister did great. I figured she and I would get cast in the same show and that would be the end of that.

But I auditioned for Tuacahn anyway. It was a few days later and I figured "why the heck not?" They are doing Les Miserables and a couple other good shows, so I didn't think that I even had a chance because of the popularity of the show, but I did get a call back. Overall the audition went pretty well.

Lagoon called and offered Mandy and I positions (in different shows) and Mandy declined. So where does that leave me? I auditioned for Lagoon again to be in a show with my sister and now that's not happening. Lagoon needs an answer ASAP. I want to know if I even have a chance at Tuacahn.

Do I want to do this all summer?



Or wait out for the possibility of this?




F it. I don't want to decide. How about I just go back to school in Logan. I didn't have to make decisions there.

I'm All At Sea

I was talking to my good friend Dallin the other day and he asked me if I was over a girl that I had recently dated. I told him that I was not yet there, but I wanted to be.

Now those of you who know me really well know that I often use metaphors to explain my current feelings. I guess I think that I think that I am deep.. Anyway, this time actually turned out to be one of my better ones. I am going to refer back to this metaphor multiple times throughout this blog, so pay attention.

I explained to him that it was like I was on a sailboat. All of my bags were packed and the boat was loaded. The sail was up and the boat was slowly drifting away from the shore. I was just waiting for the wind to pick up and take me a sea.

Well my friends, the wind picked up.

For the first time since June of last year, I can honestly say that I have lost the desire to be with her. (Sorry Hay, I wish I could say differently). I really wish that it would have come sooner. I wish I didn't have to experience the sleepless nights- The nights where my body physically hurt because of emotional pain. I wish that I wouldn't have been completely broken for my next relationship where I often seemed cold hearted and disengaged. I wish many things would have been different.

You know what pushed me over the edge? The realization that after everything we've been through she never fully trusted me. If the lack of trust was warranted I wouldn't have felt like I did, but I was really hurt. I am an honest person. A bit too honest at times. If being trustworthy, honest, and loyal doesn't earn trust, I sure as heck don't know what will.. Hell, It would probably earn me my eagle scout... (maybe I should start on my Webelos, I never even got that one)

But that did it. That sent my ship sailing away. And I must say the air is a lot crisper out here.

I Can't Let You Go

Your eye shadow always matches what you wear
You always seem to care what others think about you
You try and mold me to what you think I should be
Sometimes you drive me crazy. You drive me up the wall

But then I hold you close
And then I see you smile,
And when that lip starts to curl…

All my doubts and my fears simply go away
50-50 couldn’t change what I’m about to say
“I get lost in your eyes as they search my soul
And when I find myself I know - I can’t let you go”

Wounded hearts preventing what we could be
Delaying a recovery - closing open minds
Your pensive brows warn me I should worry
Our future could be blurry. Our doubts will hold us down

But then I hold you close
And then I see you smile,
And when that lip starts to curl…

All my doubts and my fears simply go away
50-50 couldn’t change what I’m about to say
“I get lost in your eyes as they search my soul
And when I find myself I know - I can’t let you go”

You always question our compatibility
You’ve always been so needy. I've never been enough
Our two worlds started pretty far away
But they collided on that Sunday, and I’m sure glad they did.

Cause when I hold you close,
And when I see you smile,
And when that lip starts to curl…

All my doubts and my fears simply go away
50-50 couldn’t change what I’m about to say
“I get lost in your eyes as they search my soul
And when I find myself I know - I can’t let you go”